Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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