I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
