Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
