i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Come see our sink grown plant.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
