PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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