the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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