We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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