Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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