Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
