apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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