I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have feelings that need drinking.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
