dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I forget how to act sober
Randomize