So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
