Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
