I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
