She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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