Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
