Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
