standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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