why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
