Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
