I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
