we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
