There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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