Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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