the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
