WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Everything about him screamed your future.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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