So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
