i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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