Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
