You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You took a bar mat shot.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
