The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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