I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
