I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
