how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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