Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
