i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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