All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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