So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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