Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
