We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Are we still banned from the library?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize