as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
