i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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