Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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