hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
