you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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