God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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