dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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