He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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