i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
