remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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