For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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