I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize