Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
