were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
