She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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