I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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