I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I FOUND THE LEGS
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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