My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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