did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
