i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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